In order to actually vote in this poll, please go here.

What do you think J. K. Rowling’s new adult book will be about?

● About a struggling lower-middle-class British couple & the horrible child under their stairs (johnmcusick tweet).
● About 600 pages, give or take a few hundred.
● A story exploring the angst of a middle-aged author trying to come up with a new and different story after an initial huge success.
● A retelling of the Dracula story from the point of view of his phletbotomist.
● About a group of teachers at a posh British school who suspect their pupils may not be quite ordinary.
● The story of a detective named Phillip, um, Harlowe who finds this mysterious bird statue called the Maltese, um, Goose, and there’s this woman who betrays him and stuff.
● A scholar’s discovery of an earth-shattering secret kept in France for millennia: foie gras is people!
● About a ragtag band of misfits infiltrating Hitler’s Germany in order to do something involving a lot of explosions.
● Some stuff about grown up men and women and working and getting married and having babies and probably sex.
● No, it’s not about any of that. I think it’s about… (please answer in comments).
● Ticky thinks you’re just making all this stuff up.
● Other.