Wed 7 Jun 2017
Down Portalville Way: The Blob
Posted by PJ under cryptids, folklore, portalville, storytelling
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- Let me Thread you a story… (1-11)
- A big orange blob parked itself in the town square. Just appeared overnight and plugged up the fountain something fierce.
- Trapper Bruce poked it with a stick & it blatted something that sounded like “Sad!” then barfed chicken fat out of one of its orifices.
- Sheriff Limonada suggested taking a flamethrower to it, but nobody had one of those, so a mob with torches formed up.
- I don’t really hold with mobs carrying torches myself as many an innocent creature has been declared a monster by them.
- But this blob gave off a foul odor of corruption & kept getting bigger, spreading all over the fountain and the park benches around it.
- It exploded soon as the first torch hit it. Guess it wasn’t much more than a giant gasbag filled with grease. Burned real good.
- The fountain ain’t never going to be the same, though. The nymphs who frequented it have been debauched & are quite traumatized.
- They had to go to Aunt Cozy’s Soothin’ Shack for some deep soothin’. Don’t know if they’ll ever return to the fountain.
- Only one happy about the situation was Natty Knowles who owns Spic n’ Span Like It Never Happened Cleaning Service.
- One of his biggest jobs in recent memory. I hope we’re all done with explosive orange blobs.
These tales can also be found on Twitter: @downportalville
