Better Than Dead

I spent a lot of time on the phone yesterday with the Verizon Wireless helpline. The computer had a hard time processing the idea that 1) I was ordering a phone for my mother but 2) I wanted the bill sent to me and 3) I didn’t want the new number to replace my current number. She was a nice lady and during downtime while computer got on with things, we chatted. I found out she was a painter in her real life, she that I was a writer. She encouraged me to not worry about selling my novels to traditional publishers. Did I know that I could publish them myself as ebooks?

Yes, thank you, I said. I was investigating that possibility quite thoroughly, not to worry. We concluded our business (successfully) and parted friends. Of a completely temporary nature.

The thing is, I am considering doing my own ebook. The proponents of indie publishing make some good points. The opponents of indie publishing and those who favor traditional publishing (who are not necessarily the same people) also make some good points. It’s a long, hard slog to do it yourself. It can be expensive and a great drain on one’s writing time. I would much rather go with traditional publishing, frankly, and I am still pursuing that for my more recent work. But I have some older stuff that isn’t bad, that I still take pride in, and I’d like to get it out there. I haven’t fully committed to the idea of publishing my own ebook, but I am starting to slowly roll towards that cliff edge.

Don’t get me wrong: I have absolutely no expectation of making money this way. Money is not at all why I’m considering this. I am not looking at the success of Amanda Hocking and Stephanie McAfee and thinking, “Wow! That could be me!” I haven’t got a name or a pre-sold “brand,” I don’t have the time to do the kind of gonzo marketing ebooks require—not with a full-time job and being a part-time caretaker. I am not a poster girl for possible ebook success. I think I understand the cold, hard facts of that.

But I would like one or two of these older novels to be out there. I’d like at least a shot of finding some kind of audience for them, however miniscule. They deserve their shot while I’m actively pursuing my shot at traditional things with the other books.

I am willing to be talked into or out of this. Don’t assume I’m stupid or haven’t read excessively and obsessively about all the pros and cons of indie publishing, but I am completely open to discussion on this. I welcome input and would like to hear what people think.

Random quote of the day:

“Real trouble cannot be erased, only endured.”

—Daniel Handler, “Frightening News,” The New York Times, October 30, 2001

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Random quote of the day:

“The discovery of a new dish does more for the happiness of mankind than the discovery of a star.”

—Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

That’s the name of this pen and ink drawing, done by my friend, Francesca, back when she and my roommates-at-the-time shared a studio in Venice, California. It’s a fairly accurate portrait, in an abstract way. Back then, I had one of those long, very curly perms. I loved my hair like that, but it was such a commitment of salon time to keep it up because my hair is naturally fine and string straight (all except for one mutant wave at the back of my head). Also, those perms really damaged my hair. So I didn’t keep it for long and I have hardly any pictures of me like that. Certainly none that I’ve scanned.

I did receive quite a bit of positive male attention with that hair, though. Lynn and I spent many weekend nights going to the Whisky à GoGo on the Sunset Strip, Madame Wong’s in Chinatown, and many other places of the rocking and the rolling variety. Great fun and we saw a number of good bands. Later, I went the full punk treatment, with hair only an inch long except for one long trailing bit of hair down my back and a little crest on the crown of my head. The boys were not quite as fond of that haircut. In fact, some of them stopped talking to me, assuming I’d lost interest in boys. It’s amazing what some people will assume on scant evidence. C’est la guerre, c’est l’amour. I don’t even have a pen and ink drawing of me with that haircut. I was quite camera averse in those days. Carl moved in with us about this time, which confused the upstairs neighbors a great deal. They wondered if he was gay, but they also wondered about the sleeping arrangements because…only two bedrooms. We didn’t clarify things to straighten out their rumpled assumptions. Not their business. We found the whole thing rather funny.

Also accurate about this portrait is the worried look on my face. I suspect I looked like that quite a lot in those days. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. But I don’t think I’ll talk about the worst of times. Maybe in another post. Maybe not. When I look at this drawing, I tend to only remember the good times, the laughs, to feel warm inside.

This post is really about where we lived.

(more…)

Random quote of the day:

“I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.”

—Groucho Marx

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Random quote of the day:

“Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us.”

—Paul Theroux, The New York Times, July 28, 1976

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

These guys have been at the bird feeder all week.

They have one of the strangest calls I’ve ever heard: like a baby dragon. Or a hawk on acid.

It’s quite unnerved the wild finches, sparrows, et al. All the little birds have kept away from the feeders since they’ve been around. I have to think it’s that call that’s frightening them—too much like the hawk, I suspect. But no worries because these blackbirds are seed eaters.

They come up from the marshland less than a half-mile from our house, but I’ve never seen them here before. Quite a wonderful surprise to look out the window and see those yellow heads.

The beautiful singer from last year has returned, too.

The peach tree is absolutely laden with fruit, fecund branches hanging so heavy I’ve had to prop them up with a ladder. We’ll be having peach cobbler very soon now. The entire neighborhood is tingling with anticipation.

Random quote of the day:

“Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.  The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

I haven’t read LJ in over a week, so if anyone has posted something I need to know about, let me know.

What’s been going on?

The first part of the week was just mundane busyness, but Tuesday night Mom wound up in the emergency room again. Fortunately, she was home again the next day, but things have been busy since. I haven’t been back to work since Tuesday, taking her to various doctors and clinic appointments, but I will be going back to work tomorrow. Mom’s doing really well again. This morning she decided to vacuum the house. Try stopping her when she’s got a notion to do something…

So what happened?

She got sick over the weekend with (from all appearances) the same crud I had last week, but what sent her to the ER was essentially a mix up in her medications for blood pressure. Her BP crashed precipitously (68/42). It stabilized fairly quickly, fortunately, and she was in pretty good spirits by Wednesday. Exhausted, you know, because being in the hospital does tend to be an experience, but her BP has been more normal since.

In the ER room, the guy in the bed next to hers went into full cardiac arrest. Crash carts, paddles, the entire thing as seen on TV. Terrifying. He was stabilized by the time she was moved into a room in the hospital for overnight observation. God bless him. He was a young guy. Hope he is/he’ll be okay.

But Mom…she didn’t call me or her doctor when she started to have BP issues because she didn’t want to bother anyone, being a very independent lady, so no one knew it had crashed until I came home from work Tuesday night. She got a nice but stern lecture from her doctor: “Let me be the one to decide if you’re bugging me. I’d rather deal with this in the middle of the day when we can avoid a trip to the emergency room. Otherwise, I might get really sulky.” He’s a good guy. I like him a lot. He told me, “I don’t want your mother’s dialysis experience to become a series of misadventures like this.” Something we can all agree on. I think Mom took his lecture seriously this time.

Once she has the peritoneal dialysis machine at home (hopefully, Monday or Tuesday) she will have to make fewer trips to the dialysis center for training/monitoring and we’re hoping we can settle into a new normal that will be less exhausting for everyone. She’ll be able to do her treatment overnight as she sleeps rather than four times a day and she will only have to go into the dialysis center for monthly check ins/check ups. For the last 4-6 weeks she’s been going 2-3 times a week on top of other appointments, and that’s just too much time on the road for her. So, I think that’s been contributing to everything.

Onward. Love holds you hostage every minute of every day, but I wouldn’t want to live without it.