Better Than Dead

I’m dying to write something new, itching for it, and I know just what novel I want to work on next. It’s been plumping in my mind for weeks now while I work on other things.

All of which is a good thing, except I can’t work on anything new because I’ve got to finish revisions on Blood Geek first. Then there’s the question of when to finish the next round of revisions on Venus in Transit. I wasn’t entirely happy with it when I got through with that last hard slog. I’m not talking about perfectionism here. I’ve long since given that up. I’m talking about having a workable draft, something I can polish and start sending out.

Yet if I diddle around too long with old ideas, I’m afraid the new idea will die on the vine. It might anyway, because as I’ve said before, my writing time is extremely limited these days. I’m determined to chip out time every day, but weekends have become very difficult, and mostly the default has become my lunch hour at work. That’s always been somewhat sacrosanct, but last week, even that got eroded away. I had to run errands at lunch every day last week. It made me despair a little. Or more.

But this week I’m back on track with my revisions and feeling generally better about a lot of things. I think Venus will have to wait, though she’s notoriously impatient. I really do believe I need to balance the old with the new, the revisions with the creation. Carmina has been talking to me consistently lately: low whispers while I sleep, a sudden bright snatch of song as the sun dapples the leaves while I’m driving to work, shared shadowy confidences while I move down a hallway and turn a corner.

She’s there. She’s waiting for me to be ready for her. I really think I have to follow her lead.

Random quote of the day:

“Writing is rewriting.  A writer must learn to deepen characters, trim writing, intensify scenes.  To fall in love with the first draft to the point where one cannot change it is to greatly enhance the prospects of never publishing.”

—Richard North Patterson

(Widely quoted, widely unsourced.)

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

A lot of medical stuff going on this week.  Mostly not scary, just time consuming.  Real post soon, I hope.  In the meantime, here’s the news…

A “pay me now or pay me later” weekend dealing with boxes I was in too much of a rush to sort and throw stuff away when moving 5 yrs ago. 14 Feb

Had no choice but to do it now since we need the space for med supplies. Cramming books/trash into every nook and cranny in the house. 14 Feb

Venice library, et al., are also going to be making out like extreme making out things. 14 Feb

This has been a long damned afternoon.  15 Feb

The prank that would not die–now a movie! http://tinyurl.com/4ku94nu 15 Feb

justinemusk Retweeted by pj_thompson What not to say about Lara Logan http://shar.es/3c42N <– this is the year 2011. Let’s try not to BLAME THE FREAKING VICTIM. 15 Feb

The world never ends when you expect it to. Just in case, though, I set up the DVR for my shows… 16 Feb

debkalin Retweeted by pj_thompson via @splinister @jimchines astute analysis of LA Weekly’s coverage of Lara Logan’s attack: http://bit.ly/ij1P0g 16 Feb

In all my 1st draft novels 1 or 2 body elements that get way the hell overused. Last 1 it was all kinds of weird stomach things going on. 16 Feb

In the current rewrite it’s weird wiggily spines and blushing. What is up with all the spastic spines and hot faces? 16 Feb

The naming of Pyreka has gone the way of all flesh. Oh my darling, I loved you so, but it’s time we parted ways. 16 Feb

I guess if you expect to have a heart attack, you don’t. Kind of like watched pots never boiling. 16 Feb

Blah blah blah blah blah. 16 Feb

mrbrown Retweeted by pj_thompson Facebook’s new settings lets ZOMBIES eat you while you sleep! Go to Accounts—Home—Invasion Settings—Cannibalism—Brains, uncheck “Tasty” box. 16 Feb

Worked on a short today. Broken, I know exactly where/why, but no idea how to fix. Beginning and end are good, middle goes wayward. 17 Feb

It’s some of my best writing. I’d love to do right by it. 17 Feb

These are arranged chronologically now.

Bouncing around from idea to idea bcs I’ve been so distracted. Maybe I should stop trying to write new for awhile and stick to revisions. 6 Feb

Good day, sunshine, currently 53 degrees here in Westchester. 6 Feb

Do not let me near your microwave. Burned 1 up last month and burned the mini quiches just now. 6 Feb

lilithsaintcrow Lilith Saintcrow RETWEETED by pj_thompson The best curse is, “May you live in interesting times.” The second best? “May you get exactly what you want…” 7 Feb

I’ve held off on revisions for the last WIP bcs there’s a central plot point that has to be changed and I haven’t had a clue how to fix it. 7 Feb

This morning I got an inkling on how to fix it, but I still have no idea how to get there from here. 7 Feb

Maybe I’ll just start driving and hope the road holds out, or magic flowers start growing by its side that whisper the right direction. 7 Feb

Spent the afternoon revising one thing and another. Being in that cold-eyed revision mode, I think I made good progress. 7 Feb

Eat now? The ginormous cranberry muffin I wolfed at 9:30 won’t hold me til 5, but def not hungry now. Just have to get hungry, I guess. 8 Feb

Ick. I just took a Promark poll and I feel so slimy. Prolly skewed their demographic way Leftie though. 8 Feb

JoshMalina Joshua Malina RETWEETED by pj_thompson “Gnomeo and Juliet” looks pretty cute, but Disney’s “Lawn Jockey Othello” strikes me as racist. 9 Feb

I feel zero envy for people who’ve lived privileged, sheltered lives. In fact, I feel kind of sorry for them: they miss the nuances. 9 Feb

I do, however, resent the hell out of them telling other people how they should live their lives. 9 Feb

Word nerd! @pj_thompson scored 522 in The Times #WordNerd test. Discover your score at: http://thetim.es/word-nerd 9 Feb

You, Madam, are a douchebag. I’m so glad I don’t work for you, but I hate having to listen to you deal with the people who do. 10 Feb

Random quote of the day:

“You send books out into the world and it’s very hard to shuck them out of the spirit.  They are tangled children, trying to make their way in spite of the handicaps you have imposed on them.  I would give a pretty to get them all back home and take one last good swing at every one of them.  Page by page.  Digging and cleaning, brushing and furbishing.  Tidying up.”

—John D. MacDonald, introduction to Stephen King’s Night Shift*

*No, I didn’t leave a word out.

Disclaimer:  The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Siegfried and Roy, Leonard Maltin, or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

It’s both disturbing and gratifying to read old stories I haven’t touched in a few years. Gratifying because I can see the progress I’ve made as a writer; disturbing because I realize that stories I think are pretty danged good at this moment in time will probably make me cringe at some future reading. Not all of the old stories make me cringe, fortunately, but sometimes, as now when I am rereading a novella from some years ago, I wonder what kind of line of self-delusion I might be walking. Reading this poor old thing just makes me so tired, so much so that I wrote this blog post during my writing time rather than continue reading it. Back in the day, I thought it one of the best things I’d written. It even got some recognition as an Editor’s Choice on the Online Writing Workshop. And maybe it was the best story I’d written at that point in time.

The other cringe-making thing is that I reworked this novella so many times I edited some of the life out of it. Now that I’m incorporating it into my WIP, I’ve gone back to an older version to compare/contrast. Some of what I cut out to streamline can probably be added back into the novel with no harm, reincorporating some of the richness that got rinsed away.

Or I may wind up cutting it out all over again.

That’s the thing about writing. One has to stay true to the current moment: pushing and expanding outside the comfort zone, climbing the next hill, and the next. I have to keep learning my craft, not resting on what I learned last year or the year before. It’s a constant climb up the rock face, scrabbling for finger and toe holds. Sometimes when one reaches a plateau, one can take a break, but there will always be another rock face. I can’t worry that some future plateau will show me what a hash I made of the last plateau and the stories it contained. I have to stay true to where I am now, either climbing or resting, and realize I’m doing the best I can now with the tools I have provided myself. And the tools that each day of writing helps me develop.

Of thinking my novel-in-revision sucks the suck monkey’s toes. I’ve been cutting and fixing, but I think there’s plenty of mess left over. I want to see if I can cut at least another 2k before throwing myself on the mercy of my betas.

No matter how promising a novel starts out, it always reaches this despair stage. But that’s probably a good thing. Otherwise, we might love them so much we never wanted to let them go.

And every novel must be let go—and not just in the sense of “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If not, track it down and kill it.” Oh wait, that’s not how that goes, is it?

Well, letting go means never having to say you’re sorry.

Wait. That’s not what I’m trying to say, either. What I’m trying to say is that letting go of a novel is about liberating yourself to work on the next thing. I am so ready to work on the next thing.

Ever since the Syfy Channel’s new series, Haven, debuted I’ve been in a slight funk. You see, the novel I’m doing revisions on is a contemporary fantasy which involves people in a quirky rural Southern California county where the paranormal is an everyday occurrence and the inhabitants take it for granted. Much like the quirky small town of Haven on Syfy. It was bad enough when their show, Eureka, premiered. That was about a quirky small town in which wild experiments in fringe science took place, causing paranormal-like events to happen all the time. Everyone there pretty much took it for granted, too.

I think the story of my novel is original, but it can’t help but be overshadowed by all this quirk and all these strange towns. I continue to polish the novel, however. It’s what I have; I will market it. It’s a stand-alone, but it’s also part of a trilogy, see, and I really want to write those other books. Maybe even more than I wanted to write this one.

I first came up with the concept of Dos Lunas County, my quirky entry, about eleven years ago. Formulating the concept, the characters, the plotting took awhile, and this novel had at least two false starts before I finally finished it. This is not an atypical pattern for me, unfortunately. For a time I was finishing a novel a year, but those individual novels were often years in the making. One would come on strong, then need restructuring so I’d work on another until I solved the problems. About once a year, one of them would finally click completely into place and I could push forward to the finish. This has, as you can imagine, sometimes worked to my disadvantage, marketing-wise.

If only I weren’t such a slow writer. If only I didn’t think so much. If only I didn’t think up perpetual if-onlys. This isn’t a whine, not really, because I know that the fault, dear Brutus, lies not in my stars but in myself. I could get back to the novel a year pace, I think, but I seriously doubt I will be able to conceive, plot, and write a novel in a year. They surge and wane and surge again, so I’m always a beat or two behind the rhythm of the market.

I write on and continue to market my arhythmic novels. What else can I do? I am what I am, the market is what it is, and the zeitgeist is always pumping out ideas in multiple directions, hoping that somebody will take up the challenge and run (fast) with it.

Revision isn’t usually painful for me.  It’s a chance to make better and I actually kind of like it after the agony of the first draft.  That is, until I hit the sucky chapters.  Then it’s embarrassing.  There are about three chapters in the middle of this book that are hellacious and need to be gutted, maybe completely redone, maybe scrapped.  The information in them is conveyed through to the end of the story, but there has got to be a better, more dynamic way to get that information across to the reader.  I’ve done a little of that kind of thing along the way, but these chapters will need a major overhaul, I think.

The urge to stop the read-through in its tracks and battle with these chapters is strong, very strong, but I’m going to press ahead.  The purpose of this read-through is to clean up language and frayed threads and places where I decided to take the story in a slightly different direction, not to do a massive restructure.  To make it readable, in other words.  I want to continue on, noting stuff I think needs to be slapped silly so that when I get to the second draft after betas have given me feedback I have a clear mandate for who and what’s butt to kick.

But man, those sucky chapters…really do suck.  And I really do want to fix them.

I hope to return to real blogging soon, but it’s been hella busy. In the meantime, here’s another one of those numbered thingies:

1. Listening to the graduate students around here make excuses to their professors as to why they haven’t completed their coursework, it strikes me that not much has changed since elementary school. They’ve just found more sophisticated, elaborate, and convoluted ways of saying, “The dog ate my homework.”

2. I’m on chapter eleven of the read-through of Venus in Transit. I should be much further along as I hadn’t intended to do any restructuring or heavy editing, but you know how it goes. A couple (or more) scenes that just had to be rewritten, language desperately needed de-clunkifying, things had to be looked up and pondered… There’s still plenty more that needs fixing, no worries, but it’s amazing to me how many of the smaller threads of plot and characterization got left untied. I’ll definitely deal with those in the next draft.

3. I’ve acquired a sudden re-fascination with cunning folk, witchery, and folk medicine, et al. lately. I’ve been reading books and scouring JSTOR for articles. (I love JSTOR. Thank goodness for institutional subscriptions.) If research interest is an indicator of which novel my right brain next wants to write, things are looking good for my proto-novel, Time in a Bottle, the idea based in part on my novella, “Sealed with a Curse.” That novella involved an 18th century cunning man, infidelity, wastrelism, and a witch’s bottle. The novel version carries forward to the 21st century descendants of some of the folks involved in that affair. And maybe time travel. Or maybe not.

4. I’m wondering if a subscription to Netflix would be worth it to me since I rarely am in the mood to watch a movie at home more than once or twice a month? I used to devour movies at a massive rate, but I lost the love somewhere along the way. The $8.99 one would definitely be sufficient, but I’m not sure I’d get my money’s worth even then.

5. Come the Singularity, I suspect I will not be allowed on the lifeboat. I suspect I will be okay with that. Utopian visions rarely turn out well for humanity at large. I have zero confidence that techo-utopians will be any better at it than every other millennial movement that has wrecked humanity in the past. I am not a Luddite. I really do enjoy living in the bright, shiny techno-age—but sweeping mass social engineering never works. That’s the lesson of history. That’s the lesson of any close study of human nature. Power corrupts, even utopian techno power—and besides, these yahoos aren’t even trying to be egalitarian. This is all about ego and rich mostly whitefolk trying to escape the filthy masses.